Who gets the kids? You both do.

Child custody is often the most painful part of a divorce and nothing in this post should be taken as considering this issue lightly. In California, the standard applied by the family court is ”the best interest of the child.” And that can mean a lot of things and the context in which that is determined is both broad and complicated. There are probably as many variations on custody schedules and arrangements as there are types of families, and often what works in one situation may not work in another as every family has different needs at different times.  

There are more common custody schedules that we have all seen or run across: every other weekend, Fridays to Sundays, Fridays to Mondays, weeknight dinner visits, Wednesday overnights, school drop-offs so there’s no personal contact between the parents, one week on and one week off. Those are just a few of the custody arrangements out there for parents to consider, when talking about setting up a schedule of access for both parents. 

But parents aren’t limited to what they’ve seen other people choose or what they’ve previously read about or been told about by other people. There are many alternatives to the more traditional or common custody arrangements. Parents are being more and more creative and finding solutions that work for their family and their child(ren).  

Nesting, where the parents come and go on their visitation time into a shared household and stay with the kids to keep the disruptions to a minimum for the children, is growing in popularity but requires a delicate and considerate balance between the parents.  

Virtual visitation through Skype, videophones, Google chat or other online access points can allow parents more freedom to pursue more or better work opportunities or just pursue work (depending on the economic situation) and still maintain access to the child. It can also supplement actual access between parent and child. 

There’s also a right of first refusal that provides for a parent to have the option to care for the child if the other parent is unavailable during their custodial time. This is also something to be discussed and possibly negotiated between the parents. 

There is lots of room for creativity in the setting up of a custody and visitation schedule between parents who are focused on what’s actually best for their child(ren). Educate yourself, surf the internet, talk to other divorced parents and talk to a lawyer about your situation, your spouse, your kids and everybody’s needs. Consider everything and get good advice. We’re here to help you with that.  Call the Riverside LRS for a consult with a family lawyer who can help you wade through all the hard issues of divorce, especially custody.  Call us 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. M-F at (951) 682-7520.   

Drawing a line down the middle.

There are three options to end a marriage or domestic partnership in California. You can divorce, you can legally separate or you can seek an annulment. California is a no-fault state and that used to mean something when some states still required you to name a reason for the split.  But now no-fault is everywhere. In California, no-fault  means you check the box labeled irreconcilable differences. You don’t need to give or have a reason for the decision to end the marriage/partnership.  The processes are slightly different for marriage and domestic partnership but the basics we’ll talk about here are very similar.

Once you decide you want to end the legal relationship, you can do it without the other person’s agreement or consent.  Whether the legal action will be contested or uncontested will depend on the other person's outlook and goals. If you and the other person can agree on all the issues or mediate them between yourselves or with the help of a mediation professional, then you can proceed as an uncontested action which means the other person doesn’t file anything with the court to fight the case and you both sign a marital settlement agreement written either by you or both of you or by legal professionals to resolve all of the marital issues. 

A case can also be uncontested if the other person simply chooses not to fight or respond at all, in any way. Even if a case is uncontested, there are multiple forms that must be filed with the court, served on the other party and exchanged between the two of you.  It’s not impossible to do on your own, but it isn’t often easy.

A contested case is exactly what it sounds like. It will likely take longer and require much more work because the other party is filing response documents with the court, seeking different things than you are in your court filings. Often the kinds of things that are contested are the division of property (who gets what and how much of it), what counts as separate or community property (property acquired before or after the marriage), spousal support, child custody and child support. These are all big issues that deserve a fair amount of study and consideration before you make decisions or take a position in the legal case.  It is extremely important to talk to someone who can explain the relevant issues and law regarding your particular situation so you can decide the best course of action, for you.  

That’s what we’re here for at Riverside LRS--to get you in touch with a qualified legal professional who can discuss the specifics of your situation, your goals and your approach, so you can begin to make decisions you’re comfortable with when you’re ready.  We offer $40 half hour consultations through our program, more than one if you need a second or third opinion. Call us 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. M-F at (951) 682-7520.    

A quickie divorce in California? Sort of.

In California, the quickest you can be divorced is 6 months from the date the other person is served with the divorce papers. The easiest, maybe simplest way to get divorced is a summary dissolution, but that’s only available in certain types of cases. 

To qualify for a summary dissolution, you have to have been married less than 5 years, have no children born or adopted during the marriage or be currently pregnant. In addition, you have to have very limited community debt and asset amounts, and very limited amounts of separate property. If you meet all of the eligibility requirements and both agree to divorce, you can skip having to appear before a judge and you may be able to complete most or all of the paperwork yourself.

However, in order to figure out if summary dissolution is available to you, it is important to speak with a family lawyer who can go over very specifically what your circumstances are and what might be the easiest route to get you to the resolution you seek.  

If you have been married more than 5 years, have or adopted a child during the marriage, then summary dissolution is automatically off the table, regardless of the asset and debt amounts you may have.  Then you have the option of pursuing a contested or an uncontested divorce, depending the goals and outlook of both you and your spouse. If that’s your situation then a  discussion of separate and community property and custody arrangements and spousal and child support are in order. For that, you definitely need more than a self help solution but a discussion with a knowledgeable, seasoned family lawyer, who can inform, educate and guide you to making the best choices for yourself, your situation and your kids as well.  

So if you’re ready to talk about divorce or just want to get your toes wet in the water and talk generally about what can or may happen, or just need some questions answered, please keep the Riverside County LRS in mind and call us at (951) 682-7520. We’re here to help.

Quit? You Can't Quit!

My Lawyer Wants to Quit - What Do I Do?

Sometimes a person will find themselves in a situation where they have a case and have a lawyer representing them, but the lawyer for whatever reason wants to drop the case. If this has happened to you, then your options are to find a new lawyer or represent yourself for the rest of your case.

If you decide that you want to represent yourself, it is recommended that you speak with a lawyer to see what you're getting yourself into. A lawyer may tell you that it's not a complicated case that could be done by yourself or a lawye r may tell you that it would be a big mistake to try to do this on your own.

If you decide that you need a new lawyer, you should call your local lawyer referral service and if you are in Riverside County, then your lawyer referral service can be reached at (951) 682-7520 and the Riverside County Bar Association lawyer referral service website; http://riversidelrs.org/.

A lawyer sometimes will have a lien on your case, which means that the lawyer who represents you next may have to pay your first lawyer for services that the first lawyer says that he or she performed on your case. You'll want to speak with your new lawyer about that.

If your case has been going on for a long time and the lawyer wants to get out of the case, he or she may not be able to get out of the case without your permission. This is offered for information and not as legal advice and it's something you should talk to a lawyer about. Call the lawyer referral service and their trained staff will do everything they can to get you in contact with a lawyer who can give you the legal advice you need.

The contents of this article is legal information, not legal advice, and is not a substitute for the legal advice of an attorney. Please consult with an attorney before you make any decisions about your case or your current attorney.