Who gets the kids? You both do.

Child custody is often the most painful part of a divorce and nothing in this post should be taken as considering this issue lightly. In California, the standard applied by the family court is ”the best interest of the child.” And that can mean a lot of things and the context in which that is determined is both broad and complicated. There are probably as many variations on custody schedules and arrangements as there are types of families, and often what works in one situation may not work in another as every family has different needs at different times.  

There are more common custody schedules that we have all seen or run across: every other weekend, Fridays to Sundays, Fridays to Mondays, weeknight dinner visits, Wednesday overnights, school drop-offs so there’s no personal contact between the parents, one week on and one week off. Those are just a few of the custody arrangements out there for parents to consider, when talking about setting up a schedule of access for both parents. 

But parents aren’t limited to what they’ve seen other people choose or what they’ve previously read about or been told about by other people. There are many alternatives to the more traditional or common custody arrangements. Parents are being more and more creative and finding solutions that work for their family and their child(ren).  

Nesting, where the parents come and go on their visitation time into a shared household and stay with the kids to keep the disruptions to a minimum for the children, is growing in popularity but requires a delicate and considerate balance between the parents.  

Virtual visitation through Skype, videophones, Google chat or other online access points can allow parents more freedom to pursue more or better work opportunities or just pursue work (depending on the economic situation) and still maintain access to the child. It can also supplement actual access between parent and child. 

There’s also a right of first refusal that provides for a parent to have the option to care for the child if the other parent is unavailable during their custodial time. This is also something to be discussed and possibly negotiated between the parents. 

There is lots of room for creativity in the setting up of a custody and visitation schedule between parents who are focused on what’s actually best for their child(ren). Educate yourself, surf the internet, talk to other divorced parents and talk to a lawyer about your situation, your spouse, your kids and everybody’s needs. Consider everything and get good advice. We’re here to help you with that.  Call the Riverside LRS for a consult with a family lawyer who can help you wade through all the hard issues of divorce, especially custody.  Call us 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. M-F at (951) 682-7520.